If you know me and the stuff I write about, you know that I don’t like shitting on bad movies or television shows. I am still of the firm belief that even the worst of the worst do have something to offer. You just have to work for it. If I don’t have anything good to say, I simply remain silent. This is why the tagline for the whole Subversive Rabbit website is Only Movies Worth Watching. However, if I think there’s an underlying issue that needs to be talked about, I can’t help but fucking talk about it. And that’s exactly what’s happening here. I don’t think that anyone who “needs to” will read this and go: of course, we won’t do shit like that anymore. Although if they do, bravo. I’m mainly trying to vent and hopefully entertain you a bit. Even if you haven’t watched the show.
In case you missed it, Hijack Season 1 is an intense 7-episode thriller following a crafty top-tier negotiator trying to reason with a group of airplane hijackers. Sure, there were a couple of plot holes and a bit of awkward and contrived twists, but at least the whole package was entertaining. The cramped space, constant tension, and an excellent cast made for great TV. Not only was Idris Elba his usual charismatic self, but we also had two low-key British legends, Ben Miles and Neil Maskell. I also know that quite a few of you, myself included, do like a bit of airplane shenanigans. There’s a whole subgenre dedicated to this set-up, and I’m sure you’re already thinking of a few of its representatives. You can check out our collection of Airplane Movies that are definitely worth watching.
Hijack Season 2 came out of nowhere for me. Released three years after the first one, it tries to replicate the original formula but in a different setting. Imagine the first season of the show you created becomes hugely profitable with solid reviews. You get a green light for the next season, and you’re immediately faced with a very important question. The original formula was Airplane + Hijacking = Good Outcome. Since you need some sort of identity and continuity, you need to keep one of those two elements. So, they kept Hijacking and replaced Airplane with Train, something that should’ve worked. After all, there’s also a subgenre of Train Movies. If it worked for Speed (bus) and Speed 2 (boat), it will work here. Okay, okay, maybe it didn’t actually work for them but they changed a lot of stuff. We won’t do that. We’ll keep things nice and tight. Add to this the change of scenery to Germany and Idris Elba reprising his role as Sam Nelson, and this becomes a “sure thing”.
It Takes Some Balls To Make A Good Show
The end result, however, is a lazy, incredibly contrived, boring, and illogical mess. I won’t go into details too much. Mostly because this is like a shit factory, it produces so much shit that it would be pointless and tedious to go over every little detail. I mean, it’s so obvious that it’s shit that there’s no need for me to define it as shit. Just to be perfectly clear, I did watch all eight episodes of the second season. If you’re wondering why they added one more episode after a 7-episode-long first season, the answer is: fuck it. Fuck it, one more episode won’t make a difference, and it can be billed additionally. So there’s that. Before we go any further, I just have to say that this could’ve been a great season. On paper, the whole switch feels reasonable and refreshing.
However, their insistence on keeping Sam Nelson a good guy is just one of the reasons why the whole thing fell apart. Just imagine a daring plot where Sam, frustrated by the lack of justice and cooperation from the law enforcement, decides to use his trauma in a self-destructive way and hijacks a train. Something we should think he does during the first couple of episodes. Instead, he becomes the world’s shyest and most passive train hijacker. It’s so bizarre that it’s actually hilarious. He has to be a good guy, but he also has to take over control of the subway train full of people. How do you reconcile these two contrary positions? Now imagine they were willing to go the distance and create authentic characters. Okay, okay, I’m already getting carried away. Let’s start from the beginning.
All Aboard The Crazy Train
The opening shot is a revealing one. We get Elba looking straight at the camera, breaking the fourth wall and mentally warning you not to watch this shit, all the while thinking to himself, ahhh, shit, here we go again. He continues to an underground metro station, continuously watching straight at the surveillance cameras. Not sus at all. He then runs into a girl he supposedly worked with years ago. Not sus at all. We’re then introduced to a rookie metro coordinator, an attractive young woman working in a busy headquarters with a big analog display of the whole metro system. I could go on and on with these cliches, but I think you already get the picture. Every fucking character here is so stereotypical that the whole show veers off straight into farce.
Oh, wait, I almost forgot to mention a group of teenagers and their cool teachers boarding the metro. There’s even that one kid who’s claustrophobic and hesitant to get in. Additionally, there’s also a former secret agent, a woman who decides to just die on the metro. She fell and slightly bruised her leg, an injury that forces her to sit quietly and prepare for the inevitable. And then she just croaks next to her husband. We would be willing to let even this slide if the show were just a bit self-conscious, tense, or entertaining. You simply have to have some sort of balance. The first episode ends with Elba proclaiming that he’s hijacking this train. He has no weapons, no accomplices, and four wagons full of people. People who are going to just accept the fact that they’re hostages now.
This is simply so absurd and unrealistic that I can’t believe it actually ended up in the show. We’re supposed to believe that all these people didn’t do anything? There were no crazies on this metro? There were no rational people on this metro? Not only did everyone act like they were going through a minor inconvenience, but they actively did not try to even leave the metro. The only thing I can surmise from this is that the writers have never actually been on any type of public transit. I have been in buses, trains, metros, trams, and even ships in a couple of European countries. And let me tell you that this is not how things would go. Imagine how someone who lives in Berlin feels about this. They would laugh in your face when you would tell them this plot.
The same would be in Madrid, London, Paris, or any other major European city. The same goes for the subsequent police response. The whole event is treated like a minuscule incident that happens all the time. Additionally, after hearing a boom and seeing a bit of smoke, they conclude there was a huge explosion in the subway without bothering to check up on things with their EOD bot. The same bot they used just a couple of minutes earlier? Hilarious. A lot of people said that they feel like the whole script was written by AI. Hey ChatGPT, write me Hijack Season 2 but on a train. I don’t think this was the case, as AI would’ve done a better job. That rookie metro controller, let’s leave her at a crucial junction and make her the point of contact for the hijacker.
Elba, the hijacker, is able to move freely among the crowd, not attempting to stop him or leave the subway. Not even when they know they can leave it without the bad guys knowing. All of this could’ve been resolved with a simple rewrite. Why can’t they leave? Well, there are hidden cameras everywhere. There are also hidden speakers warning them and maybe setting off small charges. Their phones may get an alert after an IMSI catcher hacks their phone. All of these are simple solutions to these problems that they should’ve implemented. And don’t get me started on Sam’s wife in the forest. Do you know what happens while she’s running away from the bad guys in the woods? She trips and injures her ankle.
With all of that said, I want to finish on a positive note. Elba and the rest of the cast did a solid job. It’s not their fault that the script is awful. It is always a pleasure to see beautiful Karima McAdams (Deep State) and even more beautiful Toby Jones. The German SWAT team also had a couple of cool scenes. The production values and cinematography were good. I guess some people were annoyed by the aggressive fake snow, but I liked it. It helped set the mood. All those unnecessary lens flares in the metro headquarters were more annoying.
Finally, if you want to see how to do this type of switch right, look no further than another British television show. Red Eye Season 1 was set almost entirely on a plane, while Season 2 mixes things up and still remains quite enjoyable. Do give it a watch instead of this one. If for nothing else than to see that this type of transition can be done.
