Let’s get something straight right away, this is not that good of a movie. Moreover, I think it won’t be worth watching for a lot of people reading these lines. It’s not a movie so good that it’s bad but a commercial attempt to take advantage of one of our most popular holidays. It’s a holiday we’ve seen as the main theme of many other movies, especially in the horror genre. However, and you simply knew that one big but or however is coming, I simply cannot resist just putting it out there. Mostly because of its hilariously cheesy premise. Carved is a horror comedy about a killer pumpkin wreaking havoc in a small town during a Thanksgiving party.
I say small town but all of this is actually going to be happening in some strange historical reenactment village. So, we’ve got a relatively single location setting and a story that unfolds during just 24 hours, mostly at night. We’ve already had a killer turkey in Thankskilling and countless other Thanksgiving-themed killers. The latest addition to this rather peculiar genre was Eli Roth’s Thanksgiving. A man wearing a Pilgrim costume was the killer in that pretty awesome movie. Here, we’re going back to the basics and one of my favorite horror subgenres, natural horror. I mean, a killer vegetable, that’s pretty cool, right?
Well, it turns out that pumpkin is not a vegetable but a fruit, but the main point still stands. Too bad that the writers didn’t get too far from this powerful concept because this movie could’ve been a blast. You can sense that it’s based on a short movie now stretched to its absolute limits. Carved is an indie release that made the most of its small budget. The cinematography was solid and both the practical and special effects were, well, quite effective. You should know that there will be several very gory and graphic scenes. For some reason, decapitation is going to be the preferred method of disposal of these pesky humans.
And yes, this is going to be one of those movies where you’re cheering for the bad guy, I mean, bad fruit. The killer pumpkin itself looks awesome like it came straight out of Lovecraft’s short story. Carved features a popular retro horror comedy style complete with an obligatory stoner sporting a Walkman with those old-school headphones. Man, when I think that that’s how we used to listen to music… Too bad they didn’t lean into the whole weed thing and made the movie into a stoner horror comedy like Hansel and Gretel Get Baked or Evil Bong. At least we got a new banger, Craig Craig’s I’m Gonna Be Smoking.
The song went directly from the movie to my “Gettin’ High” playlist. It’s right up there with the entire Cypress Hill’s Black Sunday album. When it comes to the cast, all of them were okay. DJ Qualls, whom you might remember from early 2000s comedies like Road Trip and The New Guy, is the only familiar face. I also must mention Peyton Elizabeth Lee, who plays the lead character of Kira, because I think she has a bright future in front of her. Of course, I shouldn’t forget about the fellow stoner Matty Cardarople (Clint).
So, that’s about it when it comes to Carved. If I could offer a bit of advice to Justin Harding and Cheryl Meyer, that would be to trim things up a bit, ten minutes would make a big difference. The characters also feel too stereotypical, which I guess was the point but you really have to lean into this for it to work properly. Overall, good work guys and to quote Jim’s dad from American Pie: keep plugging and good things will happen.
Director: Justin Harding
Writers: Justin Harding, Cheryl Meyer
Cast: Peyton Elizabeth Lee, Corey Fogelmanis, DJ Qualls, Wyatt Lindner, Matty Cardarople
Fun Facts: Carved was filmed in Shaker Village of Pleasant Hill, Harrisburg, Kentucky. The United Society of Believers in Christ’s Second Appearing AKA Shakers no longer live there but the village is a local tourist attraction.
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IMDb Link: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt32743167/
