I Love You, Man [2009]

July 29, 2009

I Love You, Man is a mainstream comedy exploring a subject that’s practically still taboo: hetero-male friendships. It’s important to nail down the lingo, so we are talking about a standard issue bromance here. It’s quite different from bromosexual friendships where one of the friends is gay and the other one is straight. The more you know, I guess. With that out of the way, it’s time to dig into this movie. I Love You, Man is an unpretentious and entertaining comedy featuring an awesome cast. It’s written and directed by John Hamburg who’s behind some pretty great titles like Meet the Parents, Zoolander, and Along Came Polly.

The pacing is just right, the atmosphere easygoing and the production values excellent. It is, however, the main theme that makes this mainstream comedy different from all the others. We’re talking, of course, about the theme of male friendship. Are you a guy who has a lot of friends? Or you don’t have any male friends? It’s difficult to talk about these topics because we, men, are so bad at identifying and talking about our emotions. There’s this sort of unwritten code of what you should and shouldn’t do. What would be weird and what would be normal? And to tell you the truth, I never fucking liked it but more about that later.

I also want to tell you that the movie feels very honest and its down-to-Earth approach is very disarming. And you can watch it anytime, even if you’re not in the mood for a comedy. It makes you stop and think for a moment about the friends you have in your own life. Or about people who might be like one of the characters in this movie. So, I Love You, Man is both fun to watch and mildly thought-provoking. And that’s a perfect combination.

Peter Klaven is a real estate agent who missed out on the tribal male friendship initiation classes during his life. This left him unable to form a stable friendships with members of the same sex, while he has no problem conversing and enjoying time with his female friends. This was fine until he and his girlfriend Zooey Rice decided to get married. Now he needs a best man and he needs him fast!

Eternally young Paul Rudd and Jason Segel, who already worked on three movies, were a perfect couple. They understood completely what this movie is about and were able to accurately portray their characters, basically one person split by social rules. While Paul is playing it safe, following guidelines for marriage/happy life as dictated by society, Jason is following the hedonism rules (I guess again dictated by society :). I Love You, Man is also a movie exploring our society and these weird dynamics within it.

Now, I went through several stages when it comes to my male friendships. At first, I was a complete loner, an outcast with non-existent self-esteem, and someone who was bad at social interactions. Then, I slowly started to make friends, basically forcing myself to go through these awkward interactions in order to go out, get drunk, and hopefully get stoned. I didn’t get it at the time but my friends back then were okay. And as time went by I was getting better and better at this social interactions thing. By the time I was approaching my mid-20s, I was very good at making friends and all kinds of social interactions.

I guess, the lesson was fake it until you make it or practice makes perfect. Oddly enough, I was forming much better friendships with girls than I was with guys. As I never fit the classical definition of how a “man” should behave, what he should, and all the rest of the stuff. As I got older and older, I started going down this weird rabbit hole of social deconstruction and philosophical exploration not many people were willing to explore. So, I became a sort of a loner again but my social skills never went away. Now, I just can’t find a friend who has looked into the void like I have. And I guess that’s why I keep recommending movies to you guys and girls.