Goal Of The Dead [2014]

October 5, 2021

Goal Of The Dead, the French answer to the British Shaun of the Dead is as strange as French football zombie horror comedy should be. Butt fuck me, that’s one hell of a concept. One would think that the British or Brazilians would be the ones who would venture into such a strange genre. However, Frenchies are no strangers to the zombie genre. Just a couple of years earlier we had the opportunity to check out La Horde and Mutants. And I just love these high-concept movies using ye olde “Of The Dead” as the end of the movie title.

With a hectic beginning, obviously there to set up the characters and “the story”, I kept hoping that it would develop into a full-blown zombie apocalypse as soon as possible. But alas, this took forever, probably amplified by an insatiable thirst for blood. So, Goal of The Dead can actually be divided into two sections. First, we have the warm-up that’s followed by the glorious carnage. As you might have guessed, I found the second part much more exhilarating. The gore was pretty good with a couple of truly creative and gruesome kills. I wonder why we aren’t seeing more of those sweet, sweet slow-motion deaths? They are so fucking juice and effective.

Sam Lorit, now an experienced and famous football player, is on his way to play a match against the club of his youth. He’s now a Parisian man and this game is crucial for his new club. Knowing that they are about to lose to a big club, coming from the hated Paris, the local players opt-out for steroids. The only problem is that those steroids are much stronger than they should be, turning the players into…

If you’re familiar with the recent French horror history (Martyrs, Frontière(s), Ils, À l’intérieur, Haute Tension) you know that they are the masters of visceral gore. So, expect the Goal of the Dead to score in the second half. The wobbly beginning of the movie is slowly preparing you for the imminent chaos so you can use that time to notice the differences between different schools of film-making. Additionally, if you’re a football fan I’m sure you’ll enjoy all the references. I know I did. And if you’re not one, don’t worry, there’s plenty of other stuff to enjoy.

All in all, Goal of the Dead is an above-average Zombie flick with an authentic story and great special effects. It does feel like it’s made for mostly French audiences but that doesn’t make it any less fun. Actually, you can use it to see how things are pretty much the same wherever you go. For a zombie horror comedy, this movie features a pretty hefty running time of exactly two hours. However, once you start watching it, time will fly pretty quickly. In the end, you’ll want more and you can find some in our Subversive Rabbit Zombie Movies section.