Texas Chainsaw Massacre [2022]

February 28, 2022

Sometimes you need something shiny and mildly amusing to be playing in the background while you’re waiting to see how that risky text is going to go. Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2022 is exactly that type of movie. It’s formulaic, familiar, and utterly batshit crazy but more about that later. We had such bad luck with horror reboots recently that it pains me to even mention some of the names. However, both Candyman and Halloween Kills were simply bad movies with not much to offer. The only difference between them and this movie is the sheer scale of insanity. It’s like I’m not even mad, this is amazing.

After setting up the initial story and characters, the movie undermines and rewrites them several times. Here’s a fun game, after the opening ten minutes make your predictions and see how are you going to fare. I know have I have failed to predict most of the things that happened here. And this is not someone pulling the rug under you once or twice. This is someone pulling the rug under you three times and then doing it again and again while you’re standing in the next room wondering what the fuck is going on. Yeah, Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2022 is that crazy. And pacy too.

It goes down the list of current topics trying to stay trendy and later on, edgy. If you’re a fan of the original, you’re not going to have a good time with this one. I’m part of the generation that grew up on the 2003 version that actually isn’t half-bad. Especially when you compare it with this one. One of the main things that makes this movie worth watching is the graphic violence and excellent audio effects. Instead of CGI they used good old practical effects and they were freaking glorious.

It’s been fifty years since old Leatherface killed a bunch of young people but the legend of the Texas Chain Saw Massacre still lives on. Actually, it’s part of the appeal of a sleepy little Texas town of Harlow almost nearly abandoned by its residents. Young entrepreneurs Melody and Dante are looking to gentrify the town but that’s simply not going to happen. Not while he’s around…

One of the things that persuaded me to check out this movie one late Wednesday night was its runtime of just under eighty minutes. That’s just twenty minutes more than one of the episodes of your favorite television shows. Actually, I was watching a documentary miniseries We Need To Talk About Bill Cosby right before this movie. And I can tell you it was much scarier although not gorier. The production values are good along with cinematography and there’s even some humor. The production itself is a whole nother story.

After the release of Leatherface in 2017, the plan was to continue in the same direction with several movies and even a television show. What we’re looking at here is just the first of the many. The entire movie was shot in Bulgaria although the studios fired Ryan and Andy Tohill, the initial directors because they were unsatisfied with their work. David Blue Garcia stepped in to finish the project. However, the initial screenings were so bad that Legendary Pictures sold the whole thing to Netflix, and here we are.

Now, Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2022 does go off the rails towards the end. That bus scene was simply too over-the-top and it completely broke the atmosphere. Since that scene, nothing made any sense. The decision-making, twists, and especially the ending. I have to recommend you a much better movie that stays in the same realm Nobody Sleeps in the Woods Tonight. It’s also gory but much more streamlined, entertaining, and just a better-crafted horror movie with strong comedic undertones. It would seem that Netflix Europe does have better horror movies as this one is coming from Poland.