Ninja Terminator [1985]

How to properly begin a review of a movie called Ninja Terminator? There are just so many questions, is he killing ninjas or he’s some sort of super ninja that terminates others that are not ninjas? And the title is the least of our concerns. Mostly because as soon as the movie starts, ludicrous script, cheap effects, and crazy acting just hit you like freight train. Ninja Terminator is so awesome that the time will just fly by with it. Created in the beginning of the whole ninja craze of the eighties it’s one of those perfectly bad movies.

Something is always going on and if that bores you, just pay more attention to the sound effects that are hilarious. There are special sound effects for most of the kicks and movements by our ninja experts. However I liked the most that barrel-half-filled-with-water stomach kick that just always gets me. Plump, plump whooosh! Towards the end of the movie my stomach actually started to ache because of all the laughing. And this is just the beginning…

Golden Ninja Warrior, Golden Ninja Warrior, and Golden Ninja Warrior. This is all you need to know about the story in Ninja Terminator. This statue of the Golden Ninja Warrior is the most coveted item in the world, with warriors trying to piece together the broken statue. There are three pieces and each super duper ninja warrior has one of the pieces of the Golden Ninja Warrior statue. Mightiest of them all is the Ninja master Harry, one skilled motherfucker who leads a seemingly regular life as a fashion magazine editor. Who will prevail and piece together the Golden Ninja Warrior statue?

When the main guy is called Ninja master Harry there’s no need to go into details with the story or the characters. His ninja outfit was also hilarious, as was his phone but I don’t want to tell you everything. Discovering is half the fun. Dubbing or voice-overs are also hilarious. Especially if you pay attention to that slick motherfucker that people attack on the street every five minutes. He has that laugh from the thirties, I guess that the actor who was recording over the original audio wanted to make some sound when he half-smiles.

Directed by unofficial bad movie ninja god Godfrey Ho, you must watch Ninja Terminator to believe it. Just when you think that they cannot possibly get crazier, they do. In case where in the world are you going to find a movie like this, the answer is YouTube. So it can be readily available for any bad movie night. Enjoy.

Director: Godfrey Ho

Writer: AAV Creative Unit

Cast: Richard Harrison, Jang Lee Hwang, Jack Lam, Tae-joon Lee, Maria Francesca, Jonathan Wattis

Fun Facts: The entire movie.

IMDb Link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0199849/