Shark Attack 3: Megalodon [2002]

August 28, 2009

Full of this crazy positive energy, Shark Attack 3: Megalodon is one of the best bad movies you’re ever going to see. The stars aligned and everything in this movie worked towards one goal: making you laugh. Let’s start with the fact that despite taking place in Mexico, the movie was actually shot in Bulgaria. With Bulgarian extras standing in for their Mexican counterparts. And then the movie starts. After a brief six-month-earlier incident showing a decapitated diver, we get to the real stuff. The opening scene looks more like a toothpaste commercial than the start of an action/adventure movie.

And I want to make something perfectly clear, Shark Attack 3: Megalodon is a movie that’s not intentionally bad. It’s not similar to Sharknado or any of the other SyFy productions. It belongs to a wave of B and C movies using Bulgaria’s filmmaking incentives in an effort to corner the booming early 2000s DVD market. This is an honest effort to make B shark movie and as such, it deserves our respect. They tried to make a good movie and instead made an Internet sensation.

You just had to be there to witness the flood of memes and video clips from this movie. The early days of YouTube were really something and some of those clips are still up with millions of views. However, I think that you can only do this movie justice if you watch it from the beginning to the end. Each and every scene of Shark Attack 3: Megalodon is full of funny little surprises and details that are going to put you in a good mood.

One simple boat ride can yield so many funny things. We have a shot of a boat speeding through the waves followed by a close-up shot of a guy just chilling in a clearly immobile boat. And then there’s the steering wheel mystery. If you turn the wheel to the right, the boat speeds up but if you turn the wheel to the left, the boat also speeds up. I guess some things will remain a mystery forever. And I simply cannot go into details about the submarine. Yes, the movie does feature a submarine, one hell of a submarine…

To make things a bit funnier, during my latest exploration of this movie, I realized that I have actually visited some of the filming locations a couple of years ago. If you ever decide to take a vacation in sunny Bulgaria, make sure you visit the picturesque little city of Nesebar. Overlooking a huge sandy beach is an old bunker with a modern antenna on top of a cliff. And just to be clear Bulgaria is a lot of fun, a cheap and cool place to spend your holiday with a lot of friendly locals.

The movie also features top-notch editing. So, what they did is they bought a bunch of stock footage from National Geographic or some similar company and then “merged” it with the footage they shot. It all looks painfully fake but again, you have to admire the effort. And the same goes for the cast led by charismatic John Barrowman. Although we should not forget about Jenny McShane as Cat or Mr. Bull Fucking Shit, Ryan Cutrona. The man is a legend and he made his cheesy lines so much better.

So, if you’re looking for a highly entertaining so bad that it’s good movie, Shark Attack 3: Megalodon is a perfect choice. It’s got great replay value and it’s imbued with the spirit of the early 2000s. You’ll recognize the style of filming, haircuts, clothes, and practically everything from that era and feel nostalgic. And if you’re younger, this movie is a great time capsule and an example of what true filmmaking is.

Finally, you should know that this is the movie with the best single pickup ever uttered in film history. It’s applicable in any situation and it works for both males and females. In the movie, Jenny McShane playing sexy scientist Cat says to John Barrowman playing sexy lifeguard Ben that she’s feeling tired. Ben replies with this historic line: Yeah, me too. But you know I’m really wired. What do you say I… take you home and eat your pussy. Hard cut and they’re making out nude in the shower.

Now that’s what I call a fucking movie! If you want to know more about shark movies, I recommend you check our Subversive Rabbit deep dive into this subject with The Rise and Fall of Shark Movies. I would also be remiss if I didn’t say a word or two about the first two Shark Attack movies. They were shot back-to-back and are not as funny as this one but can still illicit some positive vibes. So, you might want to check them out after this one.